Beforehand when I just learned about my need to stay at the ward, I already knew that I was going to write this blog post eventually, but now that I've experienced one week and two days in the Psyche Ward, I'm more than compelled to write about it. I have a couple of drafts about experiences of mine that are currently WIP. They predate my stay at the ward, but I have very strong feelings to share what I went through in the Psyche Ward. So my posts may not be in chronological order after this.
It's a true tragedy I don't have any pictures of the Psyche Ward. They confiscate your phone and other gadgets when you enter the place of healing.
Long story short I was in a bad place about a month and a half ago. My psychiatrist that I've been seeing for three years saw that I've finally reached a new low. She strongly suggested I take some time off at the Medical City Psychiatric Ward to adjust to new meds and avoid hurting myself. It took some serious persuasion from her side but she was able to convince me to take time off as she instructed.
It was during her persuasion when she gave me a picture of what I was getting into:
- As I stated above, phones and gadgets will be confiscated when you enter the ward.
- The place is in the lower ground floor, so nobody can jump out a building and commit suicide.
- There are no sharp objects in the ward so self-harm can be avoided.
- The rooms are padded, so people that want to bang their heads against the walls (like me) can't have that luxury.
- I get to spend my time at the ward meeting other people who are just like me -- That sounds fun.
- There are Zumba classes to get the blood pumping.
- It isn't as bad as it sounds apparently. Think of it like a Dorm or PBB, she said.
Finally, my psychiatrist told me that I needed to stay there for at least a month. Two weeks if I behave properly. After all has been said, I thought the only thing missing from the mental image she painted into my head was a straitjacket. Was my mental state so badly deteriorated that I really do belong in such a place? I trusted my doctor so in the end I agreed to being confined in the Psyche Ward.
Now that I've been in and out, can I say for sure that it wasn't as bad as it sounded? Yes and no. Below are some of the things that happened in the Psyche Ward that I'd love to share with you.
"Naalala mo ba? Yung mga bading na intsik, 't*ng ina sila. Gugulpihin ko sila. (Do you remember? Those gay Chinese, f*ck them. I'll beat them to a pulp.)" –Delirious man with his arm tied to his bedpost, talking to a wall.That's literally the first thing I saw and heard the night I was wheeled into the male bedroom of the Psyche Ward. It was at this very moment I knew that I'm really in a place for crazy people. The crazy man kept making noises throughout the whole night so I had to make some huge adjustments to be able to sleep.
There's a fight almost every day.
There was never a dull day when I stayed at the Psych Ward. The crazy people often fight with each other, sometimes they just fight with themselves and cause some self harm. One of the most epic fights I've seen was when the crazy man (the same man tied to a bed post at night -- let's call him "Nicko") lifted a chair up to provoke his watcher. Three nurses tackled him to the ground and grappled him away back to his room to be confined in an actual straitjacket. One time one of the patients caused a scene by banging on a door with his arm so hard that he dislocated his shoulder! He's cool though because I was able to befriend him and he was just scared when he did that.
You'll be served hospital food that... isn't great.
They serve five meals a day in the Psyche Ward: Breakfast, AM Snack, Lunch, PM Snack, and Dinner. The food isn't something to crave for unless you're really hungry. They serve enough food to reach the 2000 calorie average. The meal served for you will consist of rice, some meat, always some sayote on the side, some mildly sweet jelly as "dessert", and some of what we liked to call "water soup" which is basically water served at room temperature seasoned with salt and garlic.
You are expected to eat with two spoons.
This follows the rule mentioned by my psychiatrist that there are no sharp objects allowed in the ward. Heaven knows that a psychotic person can use a fork or a knife to cut themselves or use it as a weapon. I sure as hell didn't think I was criminally insane enough to do that though. While the reason is understandable, two spoons made eating a chore, especially when the hospital food served is pasta.
Showers don't have knobs. They have buttons and you'll never know when the water stops pouring.
I honestly have no idea why the showers are designed this way. There are two buttons you can press: Hot and Cold. It's pretty self-explanatory.
The bathrooms have no locks.
Both the toilet and the shower don't have locks. This is so the really crazy people can't lock themselves in the restrooms. Still, it's because of this that I've had more than my fair share of awkward apologies while I'm still using the bathroom.
There are board games and activities to keep people sane (as they can possibly be).
There are plenty of board games like Monopoly, Scrabble, Chess, and there's also UNO to keep people well occupied for the first week of their stay. Your proficiency in card skills and board games will be one of your takeaways once you get out of the ward. Aside from the Zumba classes, there are also arts & crafts, newspaper readings, cooking & baking, that are fun to participate in. It's also important to participate in the activities to show that you can be a well-behaved person they can thrust back into society.
You'll explain your life story over and over again.
This is part of the hospital protocol. This is to ensure that the residing doc knows you well enough, and this is to ensure that your story doesn't contradict itself when you tell it again. It's also because Medical City is a training ground for young upcoming doctors. They'll interview you as if they were your residing doctor so just tell your story. It's good storytelling practice.
You'll meet and make new wonderful friends.
I think this is the most important takeaway of them all. You'll meet people who are more or less your age. You'll all come from different walks of life. You'll all have different mental illnesses and you'll see how the mental illnesses affect these people. You all might have come from different circumstances but the Psyche Ward will connect you. Your connection with each other will make your stay at the ward less boring. You will learn so much about each other, like your love lives and family background. You all may not get along all the time, but because the Psyche Ward is a small place you guys will be friends again soon. You'll form a kind of friendship that you wish would stay intact long after you all have left the Psyche Ward. You will be amazed at how much of an unforgettable impact they will have in your life.
With all of that said, I think it's pretty clear that I don't think the Psyche Ward is a perfect place. But I have absolutely no regrets staying there at all. Thanks for reading :)
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